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acousticscenery ([personal profile] acousticscenery) wrote in [community profile] acousticworks2013-01-30 06:08 pm

SHINee: wingman (onho, bro!jongho)

wingman, onho, bro!jongho
pg-13 for "let's get minho laid" themes
AU. Jonghyun is going to wingman. Minho thinks this is a problem, since Jonghyun still thinks that Minho's into ladies.




Jonghyun has made it his mission to find Minho someone to fuck.

"Seriously, Jonghyun, I don't-"

"Yes, you do," Jonghyun says. "You do and you know it. You haven't had a girl in like a year, Minho."

Minho rolls his eyes. He's pretty sure it's been more like three years, but he may have let Jonghyun think his last boyfriend was a girlfriend. Not that he thinks Jonghyun wouldn't be okay with it, but he thought Haewoong would be cool with it, too, and that had been a bad night, in the end.

"I don't need a girl, Jonghyun," he says instead. "I'll wingman for you, come on."

Jonghyun takes a swig of beer and shakes his head. "Nah, kind of seeing someone."

Aha, Minho thinks. An out. "Not that Sekyung from your lit class?"

Jonghyun's eyes glass over. "She's so hot."

Jonghyun is effectively distracted for a good five minutes, which is nice but not nearly long enough, in Minho's opinion.

~

Jonghyun fixates on a girl who had arrived shortly after they had. She's wearing a short blue dress and yes, she does have nice legs. Minho tries to say that she's not what he had in mind.

"You didn't have anyone in mind. If you had your way you'd go home without a girl tonight," Jonghyun retorts.

Minho has to admit this is true. He considers again whether or not telling Jonghyun tonight, while they're both a little drunk, is a good idea. He pauses too long, and Jonghyun grabs him firmly by the elbow and pushes their way through the crowd.

"Hi," Jonghyun smiles.

The girl turns. "Hello." She's smiling at Jonghyun. Smiling down, Minho notes with some amusement.

"This is my friend," Jonghyun says, jerking Minho forward.

Blue Dress looks at him, raises an eyebrow. "Hello," she says, a bit more hesitantly.

"He thinks you're really hot," Jonghyun prompts and Minho has to take a moment to gape. For all his talk, Jonghyun is really bad at this.

~

Jonghyun doggedly keeps trying to get Blue Dress's interest back, but it's getting downright embarrassing now.

Minho sees an opening at the bar as someone turns and leaves with three pints precariously clutched in his hands. Minho darts in behind him, before the crowd can fill in the space. He knocks his knees on the empty barstool, but the space is his. The bartender looks at him expectantly.

Minho's mind goes as dry as the Gobi.

"Um. Beer?"

The bartender rolls his eyes.

Minho looks up at the shelf running above the bartender's head, the one with a sample bottle of everything they serve, and picks a brand he hasn't tried. What the hell.

"That's a good one," the guy on his right comments. "But might be a bit strong if you're just starting out. You should get something lighter."

"I'm not just starting out," Minho retorts. "I've been drinking forever."

The guy laughs. "I hope not."

Minho glances at him. "What?"

"If you've been drinking forever, you're - nevermind," the guy cuts himself off and mumbles against the edge of his glass.

Minho shrugs and slips onto the barstool. He starts to glance over his shoulder and thinks better of it. If he can't see Jonghyun and he can't hear Jonghyun, he can't get dragged into another of Jonghyun's stupid plans to get Minho laid.

"There you are!" Jonghyun claps a hand down, hard, on Minho's shoulder.

Minho considers an all-out denial, I'm sorry, do I know you?, but he knows it wouldn't work. His delayed greeting is message enough, it seems.

"Hey," Jonghyun says, at a more normal volume. "If you don't like her, we can try someone else."

"I don't like her," Minho says. His beer arrives and he drops some cash on the bar. "I don't like any of them."

"What, don't be an asshole," Jonghyun protests. "Some of them are really hot. You'd have to be gay to not-" He pauses, tilts his head. "Are you? Into guys?"

Out of the corner of his eye, Minho sees the guy next to him glance up. "Yeah," he shoots back over his shoulder. "And?"

"You could've told me," Jonghyun says, sliding into the space to Minho's left, jostling some poor girl in the process. He signals the bartender for another beer, gets it immediately.

"How do you do that?" Minho asks.

Jonghyun grins. "I tip better than you."

~

In retrospect, Jonghyun springs back admirably. He's off looking for guys as soon as he's finished his drink. And instead of dragging Minho off to meet them, he's dragging them back to the bar to meet Minho.

The third one leaves, protesting, "I told you man, I'm not gay!"

Minho turns back to the bar and sprawls across it, letting his left arm cushion his head and his right arm lie where it will. Someone picks his arm up by the cuff of his sleeve and moves him a few inches. "Sorry," Minho mumbles.

"Don't spill your drink," the guy to his right answers.

Minho lifts his head up.

"Why so glum?" the guy asks, then laughs a little too brightly. "You've got your own gay boy delivery service going here. Some of us would kill for that. Well, not kill," he amends, tilting his head to one side and considering. "Maybe maim. Definitely pay," he decides.

"When he comes back, I'll tell him you want to hire him," Minho says.

The guy laughs. He's got a nice laugh, Minho thinks. If he were across the room, he could send Jonghyun after this guy instead of whoever he's chasing currently.

"I'm Jinki," the guy says, prompting.

"Minho," Minho says. He realizes he's still got his head on the bar and sits back up. "Hi."

"Hi, Minho," Jinki says.

~

Minho is laughing at something Jinki's said when Jonghyun reappears, dragging not one, but two guys behind him.

"Okay," he says, pushing the first one forward. "This is Taemin-"

"My boyfriend," the second guy chimes in. "What kind of joke is this?"

Minho looks to Jinki for help, but he's too busy laughing his ass off. "Sorry, my friend here is a little drunk, and-"

"'M not drunk!" Jonghyun says. "You're drunk."

Taemin cracks a smile at that, and his boyfriend relaxes, starting to get the context of the situation.

"I'm sorry," Minho apologizes again. "He's just super excited about being a wingman tonight."

Jinki laughs even harder.

~

The three of them walk out into the night, Minho on Jonghyun's left and Jinki on Jonghyun's right, just to make sure he doesn't tip too far to either side.

"'M sorry, Minno," Jonghyun slurs as they put him into a taxi. "I didn't find you anyone."

"It's okay," Minho says, giving the driver Jonghyun's address. "You sure you can make it home?"

Jonghyun nods and leans back against the seat. "Wait!" he bursts out, leaning out again, just before Minho can close the door. "Tomorrow night!"

"Tomorrow night?" Minho echoes.

"We'll definitely find you a guy tomorrow night," Jonghyun says, and pulls the taxi door closed.

Minho turns to Jinki as the taxi merges into traffic. "So."

"So," Jinki repeats, looking bemused. "Your friend-"

"Do you still want to hire him?" Minho interrupts. "Because I was kind of thinking that we-"

He stops, looks at the street, looks at Jinki. Jinki is beaming.

"Okay," Minho says, and takes the hand that Jinki extends to him.






Unofficial Epilogue
The next morning, Minho is practically glowing over coffee. "Jinki is really funny, hyung, you'll like him."

Jonghyun pouts, and Minho kicks him under the table. "What?"

"I was completely useless," Jonghyun says, shoulders slumping.

Minho feels a little bad, so he offers, "Well, you gave us something to talk about?" He doesn't like the grin that spreads across Jonghyun's face.

"So, really, I helped," he says.

"Well," Minho drags the syllable out.

Jonghyun is looking almost smug now. "You could even say it was me who helped you get his attention."

"I don't-"

Jonghyun cuts him off. "I'm an awesome wingman."

"I'm not saying that," Minho says dryly.


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